A Message from our Executive Director

You are saving lives with every investment you make in The Friendship Club! I don’t mean that figuratively, I literally mean you are saving lives. Let me tell you how:

A national study, called the ACE Study (for Adverse Childhood Experiences) was conducted by Kaiser and the U.S. Center for Disease Control with 17,000 adult participants1.  It found a significant relationship between childhood stress and trauma and adult chronic disease. Some of the ACE indicators include witness to domestic violence, being a victim of abuse or neglect, alcohol and other drug abuse in the home, parental separation/divorce, mental illness in the family, death of a parent, and parent incarceration.

The greater number of adverse experiences a child has, the more likely he or she is to engage in drug/alcohol abuse, suffer from depression, and/or develop chronic diseases like heart, lung, and liver disease. The study also showed that even if the adults with ACEs DID NOT engage in unhealthy behaviors, they were still more likely to suffer from chronic disease due to the effect childhood stress has on the developing brain. ACEs literally change the brain structure and puts children in a constant state of fight or flight stress response. Science also shows that the stress from ACEs impact the part of the brain that regulates impulse control, which contributes to unhealthy behaviors.

Here are some of the findings of this national study:

  • 67% of participants had at least 1 ACE
  • 5% or 1 in 8 participants had 4 or more ACEs
  • The higher the ACE score, the poorer the mental and physical health score. Those with higher ACE scores are 4.5 times more likely to have depression

This is how our Friendship Club girls compare to these studies:

  • While 20% of the 17,000 participants nationwide in the ACE study had three or more adverse childhood experiences, 47% of the girls served by The Friendship Club have been traumatized by at least three adverse childhood experiences.
  • 83% of TFC girls have lost a parent through separation or divorce compared to 23% in ACE study (also worth noting, 1 in 4 TFC girls are being raised by someone other than a parent)
  • 81% of TFC girls have a history of alcohol and/or drug abuse in the family compared to 27% in ACE study
  • 41% of TFC girls have experienced physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse compared to 28% in ACE study
  • 36% of TFC girls have a parent that has been or currently is incarcerated compared to 5% in ACE study
  • 40% of TFC girls have been exposed to domestic violence in the home compared to 13% in ACE study.

These are sobering statistics but there is HOPE and I want you to know how your support plays a role in reversing the effects ACEs have on our girls. While there are real neurological reasons that childhood trauma and a higher ACE score lead people to engage in more risky behaviors and develop chronic diseases when they get older, there are ways to mitigate the health impacts of ACEs.

9 out of 10. In most cases that would be considered a good score on a test, an A! Something to be proud of. However, in this case, it’s not something I am proud of. This score has me reflecting on my childhood and how it has and will impact my health. Not only was my childhood far from perfect, it wasn’t normal. My parents separated before I can even remember them being together (1 point). Living in a fatherless home, there were a lot of men, usually drug addicted and alcoholics in and out of our home (1 point). They were abusive men that would hurt my mom and abuse us kids physically, mentally, and sexually (2 points). There were many times we would go without food, shelter, running water, and power (1 point). On more than one occasion, my mother attempted suicide (1 point). I’ll never forget the night my mom told me she wished she had aborted me when she had the chance (2 points). 9/10! At points in my life I felt hopeless, but at a vital time in my life The Friendship Club became my family and helped me find hope again. 

~Tiffany Scudero, TFC Alumnus, Development Associate

 The most important things families and communities can do is provide supportive relationships to children with ACEs and teach them resilience skills such as stress management and healthy communication. The Friendship Club program provides this very support to our girls and paired with our long-term, comprehensive approach, we are able to provide girls the positive environment they need to thrive and grow into healthy young women. In addition to the exposure to positive life experiences and academic support, we excel in providing girls with supportive relationships between each other, our professional staff, mentors, other volunteers and community members.

We teach girls conflict resolution skills and stress management through yoga, meditation, mindfulness, nutrition and activity in nature.  We also refer families to other support and resources when they are needed. We surround our girls and their families with the support they need to seek help, change family patterns, and educate them about the dangers of ACEs and how they can mitigate for them in the home. Girls report that since joining The Friendship Club they are more likely to think about their future, make and keep friends, and understand what a healthy relationship looks like.  They report that the Club makes them feel safe.

By investing in this intense and critical support program, you are helping us build resilience in our girls and helping us intervene in their lives while there is still time to mitigate the effects of ACEs. YOU are saving their lives.

Because of The Friendship Club and the support of this community I am who I am today. I have ended a vicious cycle. I am college educated. I am giving back to The Friendship Club girls. I am married to a man who would never imagine treating me the way men treated my mother. Most of all, I have a beautiful little boy who will get a 0/10 on this test. That is something I am proud of. ~ Tiffany

During this Holiday season when you are considering your community investments, we hope you will consider how your donation to The Friendship Club produces a ripple effect in our community and changes destructive patterns for generations to come. Investing in our young girls today will keep their future and our community’s future bright. Click here to donate now!

In Friendship,

Jennifer Singer, Executive Director

1 American Journal of Preventive Medicine in 1998, Volume 14, pages 245–258

Reflections of Thanks

Many girls from Friendship Club continue to stay connected to the club, after they
graduate, through our alumni program. During monthly meetings and through a
Facebook group, they gather to offer support, continue to learn skills, and strengthen
friendships. With Thanksgiving just around the corner some of the alumni have shared
reflections of thanks from their time in the club with the hopes of helping our many volunteers
and donors understand the difference it made in their lives:

I’m thankful for Friendship Club because throughout my whole life it has
been the most stable thing I’ve had. I was blessed enough to have been
part of starting the alumni program, because even after graduating the
club, it still allows club to be a part of my life. I still have that sense of
stability. Over 10 years and counting!

I was a victim of bullying at school for many years, causing me to become
shy and reserved. I am thankful that the Friendship Club provided a safe
place for me to socialize, become comfortable with who I am, and make
lasting friendships with both the girls and the wonderful women involved in
the program.

I am thankful for all of my friends I have met through the club, that are
close enough to call family. I am also thankful for all of the love and
support from everyone. I could say so many things!

Honestly I’m thankful for the family I’ve made through the club, my best
friends, who I’ve met at Friendship Club, I’m thankful that if I’m in a deep
hole and I need help getting dug out, I can count on any Friendship Club
person to do what they can to help.

When I felt like I had nowhere to go and when I felt alone, Friendship Club
was there for me. It was my second home and a place that I knew I would
be accepted.

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for all you do to support our girls!

Self-Enrichment through Workshops sponsored by The Friendship Club

The core of The Friendship Club mission, to engage, educate and empower girls at risk, is to teach our girls to take good care of themselves. Healthy self care is the foundation for healthy relationships, well-rounded characteristics and quality of life on so many levels. Self care is not a “one time” lesson, it is a constant discipline woven in and out of all life experiences and decisions. An honest admission informs us at times we are better at self-care than at other times. If you find your ability to enrich your life is at an ebb, rather than a flow, workshops sponsored by The Friendship Club may be just what you need.

What began as an offering for ongoing education for Friendship Club mentors has grown into a self-enrichment opportunity for Friendship Club volunteers and friends. Quite simply, as our volunteers and friends take good care of themselves, work to enrich themselves personally, they improve their ability to serve Friendship Club girls and and potentially impact the quality of other interpersonal relationships. I hope you are thinking “Tell Me More”!

In 2017 we introduced two powerful workshops:
“Deep Listening” and “Discover Your Strengths”

Deep Listening Workshop, a 3-part series led by Lyn Gunn-Smith, a local Personal Growth Consultant, and dear friend of The Friendship Club. This is a workshop for those who would like to learn to listen without interrupting, judging or criticizing others. As we learn and practice deep, mindful listening, we become more aware of how our thoughts, feelings and beliefs impact our ability to be present with others. Strive to understand before wanting to be understood….

One attendee responded “Being more mindful gives me the power to acknowledge thoughts and feelings, ‘feel’ them intimately – and to change those, if it seems important.”
~Nancy, workshop attendee & TFC Volunteer

Thursdays, 6/7/18, 6/14/18, and 6/21/18 from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. at The Friendship Club.

Discover Your Strengths, is a 4-part series led by Jennifer Singer, The Friendship Club Executive Director and Certified Gallup Strength Coach. Your talents, those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that come naturally – are all the source of your true potential and power. The key to personal development is to fully understand how to apply your greatest talents and strengths in everyday life. People who play to their CliftonStrengths are the absolute best version of themselves. Gallup research finds that these folks are more engaged and productive at work and 3 times more likely than others to have an excellent quality of life.

Thursdays, 1/18/18, 1/25/18, 2/22/18, 3/22/18 and 4/26/19 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. at The Friendship Club.

And suggested donations for the workshops include all materials and 100% of the donation proceeds benefit The Friendship Club. Please contact Cindy Hintz, Volunteer Manager, for more detail. We sincerely hope you will join us, not only for yourself, but for those whose lives you touch.

“Some strive to make themselves great. Others help others see and find their own greatness. It’s the latter who really enrich the world we live in” ―Rasheed Ogunlaru
Leading life coach, motivational speaker and business/corporate coach

A Message from our Executive Director

The 49er Fun Park was the happening place to be on September 18th for The Friendship 100. Over 300 racers, golfers, and guests packed the park with enthusiasm for the event and for The Friendship Club program. In its 15th year, The Friendship 100 has grown to be the most important fundraiser we have, raising critical funds for our academic year program.  The beauty of this event is the sheer number of supporters it generates. Racers raising funds from their friends and colleagues, golf captains urging friends to participate and donate to an important mission, major donors sponsoring the event, and a volunteer army, allow us to put on a quality, organized, and fun event for our community!

While the event grossed over $90,000, the average donation to the event is $100. THAT is community coming together and making it happen!  Nearly 20% of donations come from outside of the community by way of online fundraising but the majority of funds are raised from our generous local business community and individuals. Everyone can play a role in making it happen for our girls and people committing to doing what they can do is the first step. Not everyone can or will be a major donor. It takes an army of smaller, consistent donors to provide the resources community organizations like The Friendship Club need to accomplish our missions. Thank you for being part of community building and for the generous support you provide The Friendship Club and other local organizations making our community strong.  Please consider joining the more than 100 community members who have committed to being monthly donors to The Friendship Club.  Consistent monthly support is critical to the ongoing stability of The Friendship Club. Monthly Matters!  Call today to get signed up: (530) 265-4311.

In Friendship,

Jenn

Fall Meetings Off to a Great Start! by Denise Tambasco

The start of September welcomed back the girls of The Friendship Club to their weekly meetings. Over the course of the next 12 weeks, girls will explore a variety of topics connected to friendships and bullying, wellness, and nutrition. As part of the curriculum, girls will have an opportunity to learn about basic nutrition, food labels, My Plate, meal planning and budgeting, navigating a grocery store, and take some basic cooking lessons. Girls will also talk about what bullying is, how to recognize it and how to react to it as both a bystander and as a victim.

With such a packed curriculum, Fall Break provides staff with a great opportunity to spend time with girls in smaller groups and allow the girls to bond in cross-age activities. Over the week of break, girls will have the opportunity to participate in 6 different activities, which include: Special FX makeup workshop, baking and cooking, visiting the corn maze in Dixon, roller skating, and Bierwagon’s pumpkin patch and pumpkin carving. Additionally, 10 high school girls will go on an overnight trip to Reno and visit the University of Nevada, Milan Institute of Cosmetology, and Truckee Meadows Community College.

Seeking Friendship Club Drivers by Cindy Hintz

The Friendship Club Academic year is in full swing, as girls have returned to attend their weekly after school meetings. As the Volunteer Manager, I am often asked “What is the greatest volunteer need at The Friendship Club?” Hands down the answer remains: “DRIVERS!”

This 2017-18 school year, the Friendship Club girls in Nevada County will attend an after school program meeting once a week held at our facility in Nevada City, arriving from one of 17 different schools in Nevada County. One third of our enrollment can ride the bus from either Nevada Union or Seven Hills. But the other two thirds, nearly 50 girls rely on catching a ride from a volunteer from her school to The Friendship Club at least once a week. On any given Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, mid-afternoon, our driver volunteers leave their home or work, drive to their designated school, pick up any where from 1 to 8 TFC girls, drive them to New Mohawk Road, and see the girls safely upstairs to our facility. Then they turn around and drive on to errands, back to work or home. The total time commitment averages 15-20 minutes.

It is important to note that families with girls enrolled in The Friendship Club simply do not have the means to transport their girls to after school meetings. We are truly blessed to have many volunteers who return as drivers year after year, and we are so grateful for your committed support. This school year we are looking to add 4-6 new drivers to our volunteer pool.

While this act seems so simple, each driver volunteer contribution of time ensures our program meetings can continue with a potential for 100% attendance. Without a ride, a girl will most certainly be unable to attend her meeting or other important after school activities.

Please consider becoming a Friendship Club driver, even if only once or twice a month. You may contact the Volunteer Manager, Cindy Hintz, at (530) 265-4311 or cindyh@friendshipclub.org to learn more about this critical volunteer role, and how you can come on board as a Friendship Club driver.

Friendship Club Fundraiser at Judi’s

Judi’s of Nevada City will be hosting a special fundraising event for The Friendship Club (TFC) on Saturday, October 7th, from 10am until 6pm. Judi’s is located at 246 Commercial Street, Nevada City.

At this event, Judi’s will be offering a 5% discount on all merchandise (including sale merchandise) while donating a percentage of all sales to The Friendship Club. The doors will open at 10am and complimentary refreshments will be served throughout the day. Staff and board members from The Friendship Club will be on hand throughout the event.

This is the 23rd anniversary of TFC helping at-risk adolescent girls in Nevada County with a year-round program of educational activities, emotional support and community involvement. Jennifer Singer, Executive Director of TFC says, “The Friendship Club is about serving girls at risk but it’s also about building community. Girls in the club receive a lot of support but they also give back to our community and love doing so!” This year TFC welcomed back several alumni as staff members. They are TFC success stories and they are continuing to enrich our community.

The Friendship Club is supported primarily by the generosity of the community and private grants. Singer said “ We are so grateful for Judi and Bob Weiner’s continued support of The Friendship Club. For the past several years, Judi has generously donated proceeds from one day of shopping in her beautiful store. We think it’s a win-win for businesses and organization’s to partner in this way. It’s a fantastic way for TFC to gain exposure, and in addition to Judi’s generous donation, we always get new donors and volunteers who come to know us through Judi’s shopping event.”

Judi Weiner, the proprietor of Judi’s, has long supported the mission of TFC, and views her support as an investment in the future of our community. “I believe The Friendship Club does an outstanding job of empowering their girls and helping them to be the best they can be. Judi’s was born out of a desire to help women have confidence and feel good about themselves, so we are very much aligned with TFC’s mission. Confident women of any age are beautiful!”

Judi’s carries a wide selection of beautifully designed contemporary clothing and accessories including Jag Jeans, French Dressing Jeans, Alembika, Habitat, Cut Loose, Comfy, Latico and Maruca handbags- and a selection of jewelry and accessories created by international designers as well as local artisans.

The Friendship Club Fundraiser is a great way to enhance your wardrobe with Judi’s fabulous fashions, get started on your holiday shopping, and support a very worthwhile local cause – everyone wins!

 

 

A Message From Our Executive Director

Wow! What an amazing summer we have been having. We have three camps down and two to go. We have seven clinics under our belt and life changing activities sprinkled throughout the rest of this fast-moving summer! Thank you to those of you who have been supporting our summer program with your amazing donations and volunteer support! It’s never too late to help us finish out the summer strong.

I have been busy recruiting race car drivers for our September Friendship 100 and soon you will be hearing from them! We are excited about the plans we have in place for the Fall and in order to make all our dreams come true, we need your continued support.  What better way to support the girls than by getting involved with The Friendship 100!  Our annual fundraiser is coming up on Monday, September 18 and we still have plenty of room for your support!  We are currently seeking sponsors as well as mini-golf teams to help round out our event. We even have room for a few more drivers. Call today to learn more 265-4311.

As a unique community event, The Friendship 100 offers opportunities to promote your business and get in front of nearly 275 community members.  We will have a lovely dinner prepared by Antonio Ayestaran and the margaritas, beer and wine will be flowing at this ADULT ONLY event.

Please look out for your invitation next month and let us know how you would like to contribute to this critical fundraiser, which will ensure the success of The Friendship Club in 2017 and beyond! To learn more about getting involved in this event, click here, or visit our FirstGiving page to support our community drivers.

Welcoming New Faces-By Denise Tambasco

Each spring semester, we reach out to local schools and other youth-serving professionals to recommend girls in grades six through twelve for The Friendship Club program. The purpose of our recruitment efforts is to connect with girls who are eager for support and interested in making good choices for their future.  The process is focused on identifying girls who may otherwise “fall through the cracks.”  The girls that are referred are not yet engaging in unhealthy behaviors, however they are likely living in an environment that makes them vulnerable to potentially poor choices.

Girls are recommended to the program for a variety of reasons: lack of peer connections at school; academic deficiency with little home support; lack of a positive female role model; history of substance abuse in the home; history of domestic violence or neglect in the home; prolonged illness or recent death of a parent; living in a single parent home, kinship care, or foster care; having an incarcerated parent; or economically disadvantaged family with little to no access to activities.  Each girl who is referred to us is interviewed in the spring, typically between April and May. If she is determined to be a good fit for the program we extend an invitation to the parent/guardian for an interview to discuss the goals of The Friendship Club program.  Girls who are accepted into The Friendship Club begin our program in time for summer camp and other summer activities we offer.

This year, we kicked off the summer of 2017 with an ice cream social, which we had the awesome opportunity to welcome 25 new girls to the program! Throughout the summer, the girls will join their cohort members at one of our week-long camps and participate in various clinics. In the Fall, girls from 18 different schools will attend weekly meetings at the club. We are excited to welcome them into The Friendship Club family and look forward to many more summers with them!

“Find your Passion” Mentor Program

Friendship Club Mentors comment on their experience

The most recent “Find Your Passion” Mentor Program was held from April through July of this year. In response to the question, “What has mentoring taught you about yourself?”, mentors from the program responded:

“To have patience in working with the family. How to take baby steps to help gain their trust. When its just the two of us – its easy and I’m as much of a kid at heart, love to have fun!” ~ Sandy

“Mentoring was easily as beneficial to me as it was to her. Extremely rewarding. It also caused me to set time aside for myself – to consistently do something that’s rewarding for me.” ~ Judy

 The Gift of Mentoring

Positive relationship development is at the heart of our work at The Friendship Club. From learning to develop, maintain and navigate the challenges associated with those personal relationships, it’s critical to the girls growing into competent young women of the future.  Whether it’s a staff member or a volunteer, spending one-on-one time with a Friendship Club girl enhances and supports her experience with us. While group meetings and outings are excellent for information sharing, team building and developmentally appropriate conversations, the one-on-one time is where those lessons can go one step further. During her time spent with a caring mentor, girls have a chance to have deeper, and individualized conversations about topics of interest or concern.

As a mentor, you play an important role in the life of a Friendship Club girl. Not only are you her mentor, you’re her friend and her advocate, encouraging her and providing her with a safe place to share her feelings and thoughts on her mind. She doesn’t have to share you with anyone else. This special feeling is subtle but important. The girls appreciate the opportunity to have a unique relationship with a trusted adult woman.

The Benefits of Mentoring

After years of observation, The Friendship Club can attest to the positives observed for the majority of our girls who commit to spending one-on-one time with a unique woman in our community in the “Find Your Passion” Mentor Program. Those benefits include:

  • An expanded network of caring adults and resources available to young people
  • Access to consistent support
  • A propensity to stay on track in school and with other activities
  • Support with decision making
  • A boost in self confidence
  • Support in personal development through shared advice, encouragement and modeled decision making
  • Encouragement to become role models for their peers in the club (girls with mentors seem to have a higher incidence of participation in leadership activities and community service)

Furthermore, supporting The Friendship Club’s observation, research states young people with a consistent mentor are more likely to:

  • Engage in community service activities, which also increases their sense of belonging to their community
  • More likely to attend college or trade school
  • Hold higher aspirations for their futures and educational attainment
  • Report engaging in productive and beneficial activities (sports, extra-curricular activities, leadership, community service)
  • Go on to serve as mentors themselves

How can you learn more and become involved?

The “Find Your Passion” Fall Mentor program will begin late September 2017 and end early January 2018. Mentor sign-ups are underway. Please contact our Volunteer Manager, Cindy Hintz for more information @ cindyh@friendshipclub.org  or (530) 265-4311